"This boat is obviously sinking."- Modest Mouse

This whole thing is so calculated I don't feel like spelling it out for people, but here goes: JJ's performance on next week's Grammy show is hyped last night before the boob allegedly goes AWOL; Boob goes AWOL (see links supra); Denials and apologies hit the wire late last night and early this AM; then, in a heavy-handed and miraculous co-incidence, an unauthorized JJ single is "leaked" to commercial radio (that very phrase should raise eyebrows, since we all know how contrived Contrived CONTRIVED commercial radio programming is); an FCC investigation ensues. And after all that we are expected to beleive this was a "costume malfunction"?! (Thanks for treating me like I am less smart than you, Dumbass Timberlake). This is a contrived scandal designed to launch JJ's new album. The real story here is why is the titillating incident being investigated at all, when, as The Good Doctor put so succinctly in his afternoon rant, Chairman Mao Powell fails to see the need to investigate the fact that radio is owned by like two people. Bottom line: We all know what a boob looks like, but that is no reason to treat us like one. I am of the belief that in Europe the rack is a more commonplace occurrence in the media. Why must we cling to outdated Puritanism? A more instructive question for watercoolers or secretary stations of the world, including the ones in my general vicinity, is why is it wrong for the breast to be broadcast, but Reuters and AP are freely offering lucid stills of the studded mammary? Enough of that.

One of my favorite things in the world is The Onion's H-Dawg from Accounts Receivable. I hope you have all read of his latest exploits. So good.

There was a really odd news day last week. Here are some highlights. Fire story. The Return. And my favorite: Youth getting restless.

I have tried to keep myself from getting too emotionally involved in this story, just because it would turn me into a babbling lunatic. So I will let Mr. Yorke speak his mind for me (free registration required, but if you don't read this rag you are trending less cool. You don't want that).

I now have 1, 015 songs in my IPod, about 4.4 gigabytes of data. An ITunes success story: My copy of Ride's superlative "Nowhere" has degraded immensely since I purchase it 13 or 14 years ago. For $10 bucks I bought a fresh copy of the record through ITunes, burned it to a CDR, and swapped it into the extant jewel case and simply disposed of the carcass of the original disc. The latest disc ripped from my own collection is the almost equally superlative "Faith" by the Cure, FYI. Anyhoo, the 1-2-3-4-5 punch of the final five cuts of "Nowhere" is just about glorious, the high point being the rocker "Taste."

I am concerned that my radio consumption has all but dropped off with the IPod on board. It is just a phase. Still, I only tuned in for Thursday AM on WMBR last week, as opposed to all five mornings as is my normal routine. You can't beat Thursday's Breakfast of Champions with a bat, IPod or no IPod.

Had a high time at the Somerville VFW watching the Super Bowl last night. Perhaps I'll deliver details later. For now I gotta eat some Jell-O. That is all.